I have been with my husband for 8.5 years and married for a little over four years. I am truly happily married. My husband is the kindest person I have ever known. Many of my friends and family tell me I am spoiled by my husband because of the small things he does for me. I am openly appreciative of my man because I know not all men are like him.
Now that I have gushed, I will get down to the nitty-gritty of finding the right man.
In 2005 I started getting therapy for myself. The therapy had nothing to do with getting a man, but was about working on being a better me. Once I had a healthier mindset I was prepared to meet my husband (who I met in 2006).
I've noticed many of my friends who are still looking;
- have a superficial list of prerequisites (ie: looks, money, status). I am not saying people should settle, but keep your heart open and not be closed based on your list. There are men in any woman's life that are wonderful, kind and big-hearted that get overlooked due to not having the aforementioned looks/money/status. Remember what looks good on paper is not always authentically good. *So many women I've known who married for looks/money/status are now either divorced or unhappily married.
- have an addiction to the 'bad boy'. Remember if your man is a bad boy, the latter part of the description is 'boy'. This guy may be exciting to be with, (can we say you may have a drama addiction) but be assured he will most likely break your heart and you will never have true intimacy with him. This guy is too immature to be ready for anything real.
- have issues with self-worth. This woman will accept anything that comes along convincing herself that the relationship is better than, more serious than, and exclusive than the relationship really is.
- have an issue with being content. Content is not boring it is peaceful which is a form of happiness.Therefore don't be adverse to being happy. *see above about bad boy
- have the misinformed notion that they can manipulate their men into changing, this is usually furthered by Cosmopolitan type articles. Men are an as is purchase if you don't like him as he is now you will really hate him in the future. * This is a great way to become a future ex-wife.
I had to realize I was the common denominator in this onslaught of bad relationships. I was the one who chose to be with these men who were wrong for me. In the end, my advice is to start with being honest with and about yourself.
*This also applies to men who are looking.